Tik Tok Drama and the "Male Centered" Woman

The tea really bringing out all these feelings

Hi, everybody! We are taking a small break from the consumerism series to talk about something that has been on my mind quite a bit the past couple of days. So, basically, I saw a Youtube video that was talking about some recent drama regarding Avery Woods and some things she has been saying. She's been labeled a toxic boy mom and made an extremely innappropriate statement about Christianity. These two topics could be their own blog post. However, the host of the Youtube channel, Kiki Chanel, made a comment, stating that Avery is a "male centered" woman (it might've been "male dominated" but I don't think it was). Now, I have a lot of opinions on what womanhood should look like, but this comment made me reflect on my life and how male-centeredness has affected the lives of almost every woman ever. I just wanted to take a minute and talk about my thoughts because the more I thought about it, the more I realized how big of an issue this is.

To start, I'm not really a "feminist". There are not many opportunities that men have that women don't have. But, I know that women and men play different roles in this world and I think we should embrace those. That being said, this post is not about men vs. women, this is about women vs. women. Competition is human nature. Everyone wants to be "favored" and "special" and have all the perks that come with it. Some people want it more that others, then we have our enneagram 8's that will do anything to be on top (jk #8's, ILYSM). While everyone will encounter competiton in their lives, there is no stronger competition than the one between two women. It honestly feels like competition is engrained in our blood. Even if you are not competitive or worried about coming out on top, you're still roped into it. But why? Why is the competition so strong between women than men? You never see men in the gym making passive aggressive comments about the other's small biceps. So, why are girls so mean to each other? And here is what I came up with: men, money, attention, and popularity. But, most of all, men and attention.

Let's revisit the Avery Woods drama: Avery made a podcast episode featuring Harry Jowsey. Starting off, Avery Woods is more of a lifestyle influencer and she creates content with her kids and husband. Harry Jowey is a young, single frat-bro-type. Kiki described him as more of a womanizer. So, this was an odd podcast pairing. Avery spent the whole time trying to appeal to Harry as this cool, young mom and way oversexualized the conversations. Which is weird because she is a married woman. But she took this too far when she talked about how she gets a lot of hate comments from moms who often have Bible quotes in their Instagram bios. She then proceeded to make a truly horrendous comment mocking Christianity. It's bad enough that I do not feel comfortable typing it out to describe it and no one online will say it or describe it because it's just a truly awful thing to say (also, I want to talk more about Christianity and the issue with it being mocked in pop culture today but that is another blog post for another day. This one cup of Tik Tok tea is really popping open a whole can of worms). It is available somewhere on Tik Tok, I have not seen it but Kiki talks about it in her video, so I reccomend watching it if you are interested. Now, with this background information, you're probably wondering "Liv, why is the first thing you want to talk about after this video female competition" and I'm so glad you asked.

I know absolutely nothing about Avery Woods or her life story, but what I do know is that her prompt to make this horrendous comments was women with Bible quotes in their Instagram bio. Which then prompted Kiki to say that Avery is a "male centered" woman. Now, if you read this and you're a woman that revolves her life around men, you are not going to realize it at first. But think about your intentions becuase I think that it's just a part of girlhood being boy crazy. The thing is that, it usually happens around middle school/high school. I can honestly say that I went through that phase. And as a Christian woman, I can honestly say that the idea of getting married, especially at a young age, makes me feel pressure to be better than other women so that men want to pick me. However, here's the difference: when I go out and I am trying to capture the male gaze, I never feel fulfilled. It's disappointing because men usually don't want to marry the easy target, they want the woman who has a clear vision of herself and isn't rooted in superficial approval from others. Being a Christian, I know God has a plan for me, so I can relax and do my thing until my husband is ready to find me. It also makes me much more eager to boost up other women because I don't view them as an obstacle in my way. I'm not out to compete with them, I'm out to have fun, take cute pictures, and then go get in my cozy bed BY MYSELF (...and that's on being a bed hog). We don't live in a world where we need to be married by 16 and a mom by 21 because life is so much longer and so much more full than it used to be. We have so much more time to live a happy, single life before we even meet the man we're going to marry. Plus, life is entirely out of our control. There is nothing I can do to make the man of my dreams suddenly appear, no matter how many men I try to date. So, there's no reason to compete for men, it's pointless and leaves you feeling empty. You have to root yourself in something meaningful and life-giving. So, no need for the "pick-me" attitude.

Every girl has her "pick me" girl moments. The important part is learning and moving forward. Now, I was always shy and kind of a pushover, so most of my "pick me" girl moments happened in my mind and never left my mouth. But I was not a confident girlie. Avery is the perfect example of discontentment in life. She's married, she has a nice house and a sweet family and a job where she posts her life online, she's done it. She doesn't need to compete anymore, she already won and her race to the altar is over. She's in a new division of competition: who's Christmas card is the cutest? Who's baby walks the quickest? There's no reason she should feel the need to impress a young, douche-y guy who walks into her studio. Plus, anyone can see she's not hurting for money, she just got signed with Alix Cooper. So, the competition there is pointless as well. She's already famous, she doesn't need anymore popularity, unless she just wants to keep growing. However, knocking a religion is not the way to gain more followers. But, if she wanted attention, then Christmas came early for her. Not all attention is good attention. And, if you would rather just have attention than good attention, I think you need to check your heart. However, we live in an age where money and morals do nto compete on an even playing field. But that's a story for a different time. Until then, best wishes,

Livi