21 Things I have Learned in my 21 Years of Life
Happy Birthday to me!
It's official: I have made 21 trips around the sun. I am so blessed to have had such an amazing life and I'm still so young. I am so grateful for all of the experiences in my life, God truly truly has blessed me. I'm another year older, so another year of wisdom and I want to share 21 things I have learned in my 21 years of life. So, here we go:
1. Just because you feel like you're a mess, doesn't mean you are actually a mess
You might feel crazy on the inside, but that doesn't mean your life is actually crazy. Think of yourself as a house: you might have dishes in the sink, but you can't tell that from the outside. On the outside, you see the door and the porch and the bricks. But no one could tell you if you hadn't mopped the floor. It's all about perspective.
2. If you do not become best friends with yourself, you will always feel lonely
It's blunt, but true. You have to learn how to be alone because if you don't, you will never ever be happy. Take yourself on dates, try new hobbies, fall in love with yourself. View yourself as a new friend, how would you treat them? Would you insult them or go do something fun with them? Treat yourself the way you treat others; with the same respect and kindness.
3. If you do not believe in yourself, no one else will
Period, space bar, next paragraph. You have to believe that you are beautiful, you are fun, you are cool in order for anyone else to believe that. You have to be confident enough to pull out a chair at the table in order to sit down because no one will make room for you ever. Stop wasting your own time, acknowledge the traits in yourself that you like and change what you don't. No one can make you like yourself, no one can fix your problems for you, you have to do it yourself. You have to want better for yourself and be strong enough to go get it becuase if you do not you will never grow. Make noise, or no one will listen. Prove yourself to yourself. Add to the conversation and have confidence in yourself.
4. You cannot make someone love you
Unreciprocated feelings hurt like it's nobody's business but this is why it is so important to love yourself almost to an egotistical point. Be so happy with yourself that rejection looks less like rejection and more like someone giving up their spot in line and making room for the next. You have to think of yourself as one-of-a-kind, a once in a lifetime experience, a treat, and a treasure. I'm not saying build up your gaurd so high that you never let anyone in, I'm saying be so in love with yourself that no one else's opinion can change your opinion on yourself. I like to say to myself, "He would be lucky and honored to get the opportunity to love me and if he gives that opportunity up, then on to the next". It's not meant to sound like concieted but have confidence in the person you are and the person you will become.
5. Never stop striving for growth
Now, I say this carefully because it's so important to live in the moment and enjoy where you are in life. However, never stop working to become the person you want to be. Keep working to become the very best version of yourself possible.
6. Meet people (and yourself) where they are
A life goal of mine is simply to never stop serving others. When you see people who might be struggling, meet them where they are and help them to grow. Don't serving and loving others isn't just waiting on them hand and foot. It's about saying, "Here I am, I want to show you that you can trust me".
7. Allow people to be people and allow yourself to be a person too
If I had a dollar for everytime I had to say this to myself within the past year, I would be able to buy the whole world. Background info: I am a huge perfectionist with really intense anxiety. I was struggling with never feeling "good enough". However, I had to learn that I will never be good enough. I am always going to fail. I am always learning and growing. And, as much as I am doing these things, everyone else is too. Be willing to give compassion first.
8. Some people you will have to love from a distance
While giving second chances is important, you cannot compromise your mental health just to keep a person in your life who does not have your best interest at heart. It is totally okay to cut someone off and love them from afar.
9. Try the new hobby, gain the new skill, shoot for the stars
Don't be boring, go have fun and do things. Become a valuable assset. Be able to brag and say, "oh, I'm kind of a jack of all trades".
10. Don't let your FOMO stop you from getting rest
...I am genuinely so afraid of missing out on something that I will say yes to doing things until I am totally drained. It is okay to leave early, it is okay to lay in bed and watch movies just for the heck of it.
11. You don't owe anyone anything
Do what you need to do no matter how crazy it might make you seem. You do not owe anyone an explaination. If you are vibing and not bothering anyone, do what you want, unapologetically.
12. Let the boy pay for your meal
Let him be a man, let him woo you. He needs to show how much he cares about you just as you need to show him how much you care about him. Let him buy your food. Let him be a gentleman. Let him ask you out. Let him fall in love with you...unless he's a creep and doesn't respect your boundaries, then run lol.
13. Actions speak louder than words
Just because she's your "best friend" doesn't mean she's a good friend. Just because he's the "nicest guy you've ever met" doesn't mean he's treating you well. Respect yourself, respect your time and have the strength to walk away when you aren't being respected (respect goes both ways).
14. Take advantage of the opportunities you have been given
You will only get so long to ask your grandma about her childhood and the "good old days". You only get so many days on earth so live it up. Take every chance you can get while you have it. It's literally a tale as old as time but it's so true. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME
15. Talk to God, He loves you
God does not care about how many times you've sinned per day or how bad you have messed up. I can honestly say the best thing I have ever done is give my life to Christ. God has never steered me wrong. Just pray, tell God about your life and let Him do as He pleases.
16. If matters to you, it's not stupid
Pursue your passions and dreams, even when people call you crazy. If it makes you happy, do it.
17. Conflict is not a bad thing
It is way better to talk something out with someone than to keep it all in. Fight it out, apologize, and move on. Simplify your life.
18. K.I.S.S.
Keep it simple, stupid. Don't make things harder than they need to be, just do what you need to do and get it done.
19. Don't be afraid to work hard
I despise the whole "not in my job description" rhetoric. Work hard and go above and beyond. Serve others well with your whole heart.
20. Be open to new experiences
The world is so big! Keep your eyes open, soak in every moment, and live it up.
21. Never stop learning
No one can take your knowledge away from you. Learn all that you can!
And to leave you with one more piece of advice: wear the outfit even if you're overdressed. I mean the phrase is "you can never be overdressed or overeducated". But, here's to 21 years. Let me know what you think and if there's anything you would like me to talk about, let me know! Best wishes,
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