Being Bold in a Changing World

The guide to standing firm in your beliefs in a world full of division

Welcome to Living with Livi (omg first post! Yay!), I am so happy you're here! For this first post, I just wasn't quite sure what to talk about. I don't have one certain genre that I'm really following, I just kind of wanted a place to talk about the things I think about. In a sense, almost like an online journal that anyone can read. So, for this first post I wanted to talk about something that has been on my heart for quite some time now and how it has effected me over the years.

To first give you a bit of background, I am a type 2 on the enneagram, which I mean personality tests don't really define a person. However, I am like almost the most stereotypical enneagram 2 ever. If only I were a nursing major (as I am a college student at the moment). I have an extremely soft heart, emotions feel very big for me, and I am easily effected by how others are feeling. This has taken years and years for me to come to terms with and learn how to view as a strength. But it can really take a toll on my mental health, as the world is very messy right now. I see so much pain. And when others are heartbroken, my heart breaks for them. This used to be debilitating for me, as I want to make people happy and fix all of their problems. I think I'm so good at playing God when I feel in control, luckily when this happens God reminds me that I am not in control at all.

I try my best not to step on any toes or hurt any feelings, but in doing this, I forget that it's alright for me to take space. It's ok for me to have an opinion and share it with passion. So, this is what I have learned about standing firm in your beliefs even when it's difficult.

First off, and I would argue to be the most important step, be educated. Research the topics you love and make sure your opinions are backed up by factual research. For example, I am very passionate about fashion and watching the trends. According to WhoWhatWear.com , knotted clothing will be a trend in spring of 2024. Now, I love a nice, preppy cardigan tied around the shoulders of a button-up collared top, but what they are suggestion feel preposterous.

Feel free to disagree but this just feels like the fashion designers were reaching for a trend here and they were like "ooh yes let's throw this together and it'll look great". Then again, I don't understand a lot of what goes on the runway, it just gives the vibe of "I'm rich let me put on as many expensive clothes as I can and call it fashion". But, that's neither here not there. The real point is that I am huge on trend analysis, and this is not sustainable. How do I know this? I watch the trends season to season, year to year and have based my opinions on the things I've seen come and go or stick around. I am informed consumer. I have researched this topic. Now, that example is pretty silly, so let's take this a bit deeper.

I am a Christian. I was raised Christian and I have seen God's work in my life firsthand. I have friends who did not grow up in church and I know that as a Christian, I am called to share the Gospel with those who may not know it or have not been exposed to it. In high school, I was with a friend, driving around on a summer night (because that's what you do when you're 16 and you live in a small town). We stopped at a lake and got out to look at the stars and my friend asked me about the Bible verse in my Instagram bio. My favorite verse at the time was I Corinthians 16:14 "let all that you be done in love" (ESV). My friend asked me why I liked that verse and what it meant to me. Now, looking back the answer should have been easy for me. This verse means to love and serve others as Jesus would have. However, I couldn't express it. All I could say was "well it's important to love people and, I don't know, it's hard to explain". To be fair, I was still young and even to this day I can find it difficult to talk about my faith because there's just so much to say. But if I had even read that chapter more, read that book more, anything. I could have explained it much better. Hindsight is 20/20. Today, I am much better at talking about the Bible with that friend and we usually end up having lovely, fruitful conversations. But I just wish I would have understood what I was saying, because I had so much misguided passion. All in all, back up your feelings with true facts. There is no such thing as being too educated.

Next, you want to keep in mind that people are different and may function from a different worldview than you. Your values and beliefs could be different than someone else's. Think of it like this: I have always had Mac n cheese on Easter. It's not a tradition, it's not an intentional dish made at that time, some years Mac n cheese isn't in the menu, but most years, I have Mac n cheese for Easter. However, I have recently learned that some people have Mac n cheese for Thanksgiving, and so for them it's a Thanksgiving food. We're looking at the same food, but through different lenses and that's alright. Mac n cheese is always good, no matter when you have it, but it holds different tradition and value among different families.

Essentially, we are looking at the same issue different ways. Now, this is just a silly example, but it can applied to any issue. The point I am trying to make is that even if I try to explain my viewpoint, it's not going to change their minds. Which brings me to my next point

When you are discussing a controversial topic with someone, your goal never should be to change their mind and "win" the argument. It should be to help the opposition better understand your opinion. I think this is why the world feels so divided right now. We don't all need to be one carbon copy of one another. This is why God made us all different. However, we all need to be better at keeping an open mind. When we argue to win, all we will end up with is frustration, failure, and the loss of having the chance at making a new friend or keeping a friend. Opinions tear families apart and it just breaks my heart to see it. So, moving forward, be calm when talking about how you feel, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. When it is your turn to speak, be eloquent and intentional with your words to really get your point across. God intended for us to hear each other out, not bash each other. Jesus was friends with sinners and saints alike, have a civilized discussion and try to understand their point of view. Hopefully, they will do the same for you. Sometimes I wonder if simply listening to one another could make our world a little less divided.

Thank you so much for reading my first post, I can't wait to share more. Most posts won't be this long but this had been sitting on my heart and I wanted to share it. Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. If there's anything you would like to hear me talk about, let me know! Best wishes,

Livi